Welcome to today's bonus episode. If you're listening to this in real-time, it is the end of the calendar year.
I don't know about you, but during this time of year, I tend to start thinking about what I have or have not accomplished.
This is probably true for you as well.
You start to think about the goals that you made at the beginning of the year and take score. Do you get a gold star or a big red fail?
While it's not a bad thing to reflect at the end of the year, sometimes this process of self-assessment can leave you feeling like you didn't get as far along as you wanted to.
Even if you are feeling good about what you've accomplished toward the end of the year, that negativity bias in your brain, it could be telling you that it still isn't enough.
In today's bonus episode, we're going to talk about three tips for feeling GOOD about yourself at the end of the year instead of using this time to take score on what you did or didn't accomplish.
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Welcome to today's bonus episode. If you're listening to this in real time, it is the end of the year. It's sometime in late December. And I don't know about you, but during this time of year, I tend to start thinking about what I have or have not accomplished. And this is probably true for you as well. You start to think about the goals that you made at the beginning of the year and take score. Do you get a gold star or a big red fail? And while it's not a bad thing to reflect at the end of the year, sometimes this process of self-assessment can leave you feeling like you didn't get as far along as you wanted to. I know for me personally, as I would do this for a year after year, I would think. Okay. So did I accomplish what I wanted to it's end of the year, let me look back at everything. Sometimes it could put me into a little bit of a funk, a mild depression. Because the answer was almost always, no, there's more that I wanted to do. And even if you are feeling good about what you've accomplished toward the end of the year, that negativity bias in your brain, it could be telling you that it still isn't enough. In today's bonus episode, we're going to talk about three tips are feeling good about yourself at the end of the year instead of making this a time where you judge yourself for what you have, or have not accomplished. The first tip instead of thinking of December as the end of the year, think of it as the slow, quiet or dark part of the seasonal cycle. When you think about something ending it's normal to feel anxious because it means you're running out of time. So you can reframe this thinking by letting go of looking at December as the end of the year. And instead just think of it as, this is a time to slow down. This is when the days are shorter and the nights are longer. It's a darker time. It's a more quiet time and it's a part of the seasonal cycle." That will help soften that thing's coming to an end feeling because when you embrace a cyclical approach, you realize that there's really no end and no beginning, but rather this fluid connection between various stages and phases of life. And that's more accurate anyway. Right. We have the winter where we go inward. We want to self-reflect we spend more time indoors. Maybe we sleep a little bit more, and then we have the spring where things begin to bloom. We want to go outside a little bit more, things start to move a bit. So it's all apart of a cycle. And so letting go of thinking of winter or specifically the month of December as the end of the year can really soften that feeling and it can help you to feel better about wherever you may find yourself during this time. The second tip is to go inward and reflect on how far you've come. So instead of making a ledger of successes and failures, since the year began. I invite you to focus only on how far you've come. Focus only on your growth. This isn't about ignoring reality, but it is about intentionally choosing where to put your focus. What you focus on, you're going to get more of, so if you focus on lack what you weren't able to accomplish, you're going to feel a lot more lack, but if you focus on your personal growth and how far you've come your brain will continue to give you more and more examples of that. And we're talking about feeling good about yourself at the end of the year so that's why I want you to let yourself do this. Let yourself reflect and how far you've come without feeling like you need to balance that with what you also did not do. Again. This is not about ignoring reality, but. We want to be intentional with the choices that we make and the thoughts that we choose. So here are some reflection questions for you. What's a situation that you handled differently this year then you would have in the past? Think back to maybe a difficult conversation that you had, think back to a moment where you stood up for yourself where in the past, you may have not said anything? Is there a boundary that you set and you were able to hold and keep this year, that would have been really difficult for you in the years previous? That's the kind of thing that I want you to think about. Okay. So. First reflection question. What's a situation that you handled differently than you would have in the past? The next reflection question is what's a relationship that's even stronger now than it was before? This can include relationship with friends, family members, or it can be your relationship with yourself. But what's a relationship that you feel at this moment is stronger now than it was before? Reflect on that and reflect on why that might be. The third reflection question that I have for you today is what's something new you discovered about yourself that has pleasantly surprised you? This kind of ties into that first question. What's a situation that you handled differently. But this is more about your personality, the qualities that you're developing as a person, or what's something you discovered about yourself that has pleasantly surprised you. Maybe you started planning your menu for the week and it made your entire household run smoother. And you never really thought about yourself as being someone who likes to plan things in advance, but Hey, you were pleasantly surprised. Or maybe you got really, really good at canceling plans when there was something on your calendar that you didn't want to do. And you learn that you are really good at choosing yourself in those moments. Think of some example where you discovered something about yourself that pleasantly surprised you. Hopefully those three reflection questions will support you with the second tip for feeling good about yourself at the end of the year, which is intentionally. Spending some time focusing on how far you've come. The third tip for feeling good about yourself at the end of the year is to settle into the knowing that you still have time. This is one of my favorite concepts to teach to my coaching clients. And inside of my program, prioritize and thrive, we call this cultivating a flexible long term view. I talk more about cultivating a flexible longterm view in episode 27. So, if you want more on this, please check our show notes or go back to episode 27 and take a listen. But in a nutshell, creating a flexible longterm view means that you are more interested in how things come together, organically over a longer period of time then you are and everything happening now. It takes some practice, but embracing this way of thinking can open up an entirely new world of possibility when it comes to how you think about the time you have to accomplish your goals, your visions, your dreams. So along with the first tip, which was to stop thinking of December as the end of the year, because then you're going to feel like you're running out of time. This last tip is to remind yourself often it's okay if everything that you set out to accomplish hasn't already happened yet because you still have time. And in fact, what if the more time you give something to organically unfold, the better the outcome is anyway. These are the kinds of thoughts that begin to release you from feeling like everything should have already happened and you're behind. That's a really bad feeling. That's how you can feel terrible about yourself at the end of the year. If you feel like"I should have already been way ahead and now I'm behind." So I want for you to just take a breath. And say to yourself, I still have time."Yes, it's December. Yes. The year is quote unquote, ending the calendar year. But I still have time. I can always reset. I can always regroup. I can always start over. I can always recommit. This is the way that I want you to begin to talk to yourself with more kindness and less urgency. Because the reality is you do have time. If you feel like you're behind or you should have had more accomplished by now, those are thoughts that you're thinking, and you can choose a different thought. I love helping my clients through this in my program, but it's something that you can absolutely do on your own as well. So let's do a quick recap and we'll wrap up this bonus episode. I wanted to share this with you today, because I know that I'm not the only one who uses this month of December or the end of the year to kind of judge themselves a little bit and to say, okay, well, how did I do, did I accomplish all I set out to accomplish? I know I'm not the only one. And I know that there's a better way to approach this. So here are the three tips that we covered her feeling good about yourself at the end of the year. Number one: instead of thinking of winter as the end of the year, think of it as the slow, dark quiet part of the seasonal cycle. Number two: spend some time reflecting only on how far you've come. And remember there are those three reflection questions that I gave you. So you can go back and listen to those or use those as journal prompts. Number three: settle into the knowing that you still have time by embracing a flexible long-term view. And again, if you want to hear even more about that concept, check out episode 27, which we'll link to in the show notes. I hope that you found this bonus episode helpful. I'm wishing you a happy, happy new year. I want to thank you again for being a listener to the multi-passionate mastery podcast. Season three, we'll be airing very soon. If you want to make sure that you are the first to know when new episodes drop please subscribe on the podcast, listening app of your choice, or you can click the link down in the show notes, join my email list and opt-in for podcasts updates. And I will personally send you an email any time a new episode airs. All right. Have a great rest of the year. Enjoy this part of the season. And I'll talk to you soon.